Mayhem Of Morbidity

Born a seed in the soil
Longing to bloom only for your love
I keep on withering in your absence
In pain, I weep in silence
But my agonies scream aloud
Drunken with sullen tears
Mislead me in this path of ours
Now I am plunging alone in tainted solitude and fear
For this, I poured all my power.
Hate me if you please
But teach me how to hate you back
Make this foolish heart freeze
Before the next longing-attack.
Ran, I should have ran
Before it all began
Yet, I preferred to stay
No, I cannot be swayed.
Because if you are morbid,
I still want to sin
That bittersweet taste of yours
Is a taste of heaven
I am not a saint, never will be
Let me fall in love with you for eternity.
Deviant love
Exquisitely brisk and dark atmosphere
Depraved lust, you make me feel
I need to spit my confused desires on you.
My passion screams
My heart heavily bleeds
I am enamoured of your every single detail.
You were made to please the devious lust of mine
This body is my taboo shrine
My loneliness aches to harm you
Tenderly, yet painfully divine.
I want to suck the life of you
Steal your pleasures
So you will not have a life without me.
What you feel is no longer what you see
I am fond of harming you
But you will not feel a pain
You will be drowning in pleasure
Until the glazes fall like rain
In a soundless atmosphere
I can still hear your erotic sigh.

Sleeping Poem #10 / A Hope Attack

Chasing death in fantasy and reality
Climbing a mountain of grief and sorrow to meet my finality 
Hope-deprived
I fill my sorrows
Each time I cried
Abiding unwillingness
Plagued mind out of reach
A heart filled with emptiness
Practise death, that's what you preach
Death flattered me once
And ever since I am crimson
Don't let this get to you
Don't weep in defeat
I have been there from the beginning
I will remain until you're on your own feet
A shoulder to cry
A place to hide
From the demons of this cruel earth
Living sorrows, dead hopes
I have been deeply in despair
Cried my heart out until nothing was there
I died whenever I saw your name
Divinity of unconditional love
Draw that gorgeous smile back
And I might have a hope-attack
When I can finally meet my immortal peace.

Sleeping Poem #9

Vicious thoughts battle me on the bed
Bones ache, but I still sway
Each side, right, left
It is going to hurt either way.
Approach!
And lay down with me
So sick of being lonely
All I hear is a silent hiss
From my bleeding heart
I am dead when I no longer miss
Your warmth when we are apart.
A descending desire for death
Hope departed for eternity
A dying wish with every breath
I am drowning in a lake of tears and woe.
Swallowed pills
Now I spit blood
Whatever might kill me
I already died inside.
Seal my guilty existence
Apprehend the remaining signs of life
I can not be someone I was never meant to be
Do not wait for hope in here
It will never arrive. 

Sleeping Poem #8/ Hypocritical Confusion

Land of hypocrisy
Preposterous confusion
Everyday, heresy
False retributions
Good deeds are spiteful
Dreadfulness is so noble
Got something you want to achieve?
Kiss arses
Screw what you believe
Supreme's whores
Get all they are looking for
And all ye holding on to nobility
Choke on your pricey dignity
Take a step forward
Be pushed back ten
A good living where the good is murdered
That's your only sin.
The masters, the puppets,
Drown in ye filth and greed
For ye will not meet success
Divine retribution
You only harvest what you seed.
False legacy of guidance and spreading peace
Ever since, lies were meant to increase
Truth is clear until you make it not
Only such absurd lies to be believed
By the mind-corrupt.
Give the world Oil
And heaps of things to laugh about
The wealthiest
Has its people deprived
How hilarious is that?
Speak no evil
Speak no good
Neither way you are doomed.

Sleeping Peom #7

Weakness slither down mine spine
By agonised emotions, I'm paralysed
Deprived breath with the deadly kiss of thine
I do not want to remain alive..
Absurd existence
Unenviable distress
Shallow presence
A pale smile is put to death.
Those pills will never heal
The deep sorrows within
Reality is no longer real
I meditate my horror's murder.
Abode in mine own mind
Suffocated under words no one else could hear.
The life in me is so dead.
I am a heresy
Mine words will never be heard
Cruel and unpleasant
Lack hypocrisy.
Bitter tears are shedding
Washing the dignity left
Walk away
Never look behind
Murder the past, present and future
Without care
Without love.

Sleeping Poem #6/ A Hymn To A Demon

In darkness
All I see
Is wrath
I am empty.
Solid walls
Built with disbelief
Now scorching
On a massive grief...
Shove thy pathetic sympathies
I have lost the feelings
That saved me in mine disarrays..
I am left with no hope
I will embrace mine agonised sorrows
As I take what was good in myself
To seal its fate..
Entomb it under murdering hate..
By mine rising demonic self.
There is no mercy that I can feel
Not any longer
And mine eternal solitude is not to be feared
With murder
I feed this hunger.
One shalt murder
All deceiving feelings
Never let thy heart surrender
To this fake warmth
Love, care, sympathy, admiration
Total deception!
Hand thy heart to no one
So no one can shatter it in pieces
Temporary ignited
Forever cold.
Sooner rather than later
Thou art left alone
Forever thou wilt mourn.

Sleeping Poem #5 / A Hymn To Agony

Weeping a hymn
Howling out of key
Praising mine own demons
Blinded by filthy blood,
I can not see.
An agonised growl
Revealing a narcissistic pain
Suffering
--A cruel refrain
Suffocating
--On thoughts driving me insane
Endless deceiving thoughts
No embellishment
Novel sadism 
Entombed in self-loathing
Mine fingers are scorching
On a lost rhythm
Terrifying dreams
Lead by the wrath of mine selfish soul
Into decay.. We all shall fall.
So I seek joy
Between these shadows
Of morbid sins
Guilt with no coy
Angels of sin are depraving within.
A heartless, foolish heart
Fell in too deep 
For thee
Bit of selfishness was ripped apart
Might be in vain
But still I can not see.
Damn, I am down
Thou kill me
Make me feel so bloody down.
High, I am high
Thou fly me to reach the sky
But now I can not feel thy presence
Only the herbs will take me high.

Sleeping Poem #4 / A Death Upon A Cup Of Coffee

Dark coffee
A cigarette at hand
Lightened with agony and jealousy
Mine life is just a one-night stand.
I have left frustration lead mine guilty ways
A false comfort in swelling bruises and empty scars
Now,
I am burning mine agony down in an ashtray
Mine hope,
With the smoke, hath gone afar.
For living, 
I lack the will
In view of morbid sacrifices
We must kill, kill, kill
To regain Hell, from we fell.
Malicious composure
Covering an overwhelming torment
Only the demons have such endurement.
With each sip
It is getting impossible to swallow
Choking on mine own words of misery
So I bleed into the coffee cup
A toast to a morbid eternity:
Welcome to the beginning
Of mine endless doom.

Sleeping Poem #3

I kiss thy fairy wind in despicable fear
Slowly, I walk away
While I drown in a lake of salty tears
I fall into decay...
Where tomorrow is just as yesterday.
Thy mesmeric poisonous kiss
Hath abducted mine brain
Pleasure is preying on me.
Darkness hath taken every bit of light
With a vengeance, mine heart will ignite
ablaze with thy flame
The doom of all lies
The rise of dying truth.
This ballad will remain sacred
And will moan as time ticks over.
Thou art mine happiness in mine unhappiness
The company in mine utter loneliness
The belonging in mine antipathy.
As mine existence erodes
And mine voice subdues 
I take desperate steps
Towards the dying sun
The vanity of me had left me undone.
I am the envy of the shallow
Ye pitied pity, I refuse to swallow.
Out on the piss
Preserving mine sanity
Socializing with cannabis.
The black cave will always shelter
The deepest ugly secrets and lies
And the filthiest of mankind.
Hold on to ye truth so tight
Nothing is ever safe here
In this sadistic booze-up
We will sip our pleasures
Until we painlessly disappear. 

Sleeping Poem #2

Crawling this path of woe
How can I put these thoughts to rest?
I swallow the pills of indignity
Thy venomous kiss is my last request.
Entwined in a rattling, horrifying yarn
Replete with emptiness, loneliness
... And thy love.
Yet, I remain hollow at heart
I am a heresy
Every breath I take is a sin
I am hypnotized under thy depraving sway.
In my death
I pleaded for rain
To wash my last breath
But the skies refused to cry
No soul had wept at my funeral
But mine own filthy corpse
I hereby..
Commit the last goodbye.

Sleeping Poem #1

Mine body is thy own privilege
Mine heart is locked up with thy own key
This love hath depraving advantage 
over the sorrows of I and thee.
We keep it away from prying eyes
Even from our own
In denial, but our spirits emphasise
Our insistence on remaining alone.
Drifting in woe's haze
I would sacrifice what is left of me
For the sake of thy warm embrace.
I am a filthy loner, can't thou see?
Desperate... To meet thy gaze.
At the seems.. Thou prefer silence
I know, I can not bare..
But I deny preposterously.
Doing to mine self this cruel violence
Then shatter around the blooded floor in pieces
And, alas, I.. sigh, I... cry.
I seek thy joyous company
Lead me to the way of winning it
I beg thee, please...
I would write a thousand-pages poem
With mine own blood
For the sake of feeling mine existence.
I am not preying.. I cannot even dare
If thou art burdened,
Let me know how thou feel
I bloody care!
When thy heart is drowned in weary
--Lord forbids
I would be delighted to be thy comforting shoulder.
I care..
I bloody swear!
I am always there...
Right there...
Let me know I deserve to be there..
Before life calls upon me
Hell is on fire.. Awaiting for mine arrival.
I want to know something good
Allow me to do good deeds... in Love
Before the bloody departure
Before I forcibly flee.