Sleeping Poem #9

Vicious thoughts battle me on the bed
Bones ache, but I still sway
Each side, right, left
It is going to hurt either way.
Approach!
And lay down with me
So sick of being lonely
All I hear is a silent hiss
From my bleeding heart
I am dead when I no longer miss
Your warmth when we are apart.
A descending desire for death
Hope departed for eternity
A dying wish with every breath
I am drowning in a lake of tears and woe.
Swallowed pills
Now I spit blood
Whatever might kill me
I already died inside.
Seal my guilty existence
Apprehend the remaining signs of life
I can not be someone I was never meant to be
Do not wait for hope in here
It will never arrive.